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By:
Zenun Celaj
- 20 May 2024 10:00
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"From the surrounding buildings, the silence of the night, which was disturbed by the noise of NATO planes and occasional detonations on Serbian military targets, was also disturbed by the coughing of automatic weapons. From the apartment in front, with windows that stand out from the others with white shutters, the crackle of guns and the rhythmic melody of Serbian music explodes. I am not clear, out of joy for the announced peace, or out of despair for the inevitable flight of the Serbian forces, which caused all these tragedies to the Albanians. The rest of the night was quiet", wrote journalist Zenun Çelaj in the war diary on June 3, 1999.
Wednesday, June 2
A loud detonation woke me up. I remembered that the bed will be overturned. During the night there were also other detonations. With Qaza, Fadil and Met (Qaza's grandson) we played cards until three o'clock. From two o'clock, Valdetja tells us that from Qulafiq's apartment (she is a lonely middle-aged woman, professor of English, who has shown human behavior during this time) they can hear knocking. He may be sick and there is no one to help him. But while we were wondering how to do it, Dr. Kirxhiqi had gone.
I spent the day at Nehati's. Mrika, Nehati's daughter, called from New York. It pissed us all off. Nostalgia gripped him. It is not learned away from home.
Halil Matoshi is probably in Lipjan prison. Will he cope?
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Thursday, June 3
Finally came the news we were waiting for all the time. The mediators for achieving a peace in an unequal Albanian-Serbian war, Černomyrdin and Ahtisari with Talbot, the three pillars of the establishment: NATO, the USA and the European Union and Russia, brought to Belgrade the peace plan for which they would not discuss with Milosevic , but they would only present it to him. The latter, that is, Milosevic, threw the ball to the Assembly of Serbia, an instrument in his hands, which said "YES" to the plan. Kosovo eventually comes out of Serbian rule. This was the centuries-old goal of the Albanians, for which they made so many sacrifices.
I went to Nehati so we could be happy together.
I am afraid of the doubt of the West whether Serbia will implement the plan.
Now I am imagining the meeting with the sons, the nieces and nephews, the young women - the two Illyrians, with relatives and friends, that I have missed so much during these months of loneliness in hell. Sometimes I am afraid that I am not waiting for this moment. I remember thousands of tragedies of eternal separation between the most loved ones, the disappearance of entire families, the suffering without bread or clothing for hundreds of thousands of others. Then my experiences seem ridiculous to me.
From the surrounding buildings, the silence of the night, which was broken by the noise of NATO planes and occasional detonations on Serbian military targets, was also fed by the coughing of automatic weapons. From the apartment in front, with windows that stand out from the others with white shutters, the crackle of guns and the rhythmic melody of Serbian music explodes. I am not clear, out of joy for the announced peace, or out of despair for the inevitable flight of the Serbian forces, which caused all these tragedies to the Albanians.
The rest of the night was quiet.
Friday, June 4
I fell asleep at five o'clock. I followed the news of "Voice of America" and the BBC in Serbian. They were what I had heard last night. I'm waiting for what the day will bring. I woke up hoping for good news. According to them, within 24 hours, NATO and Yugoslav soldiers will meet on the border between Kosovo and Macedonia to determine the technical details of the withdrawal of the Yugoslav (Serbian) armed forces from the land of Kosovo. This will be the end of Serbian rule here, unless there is some big game from Milosevic.
If the miracle happens, then I will be reunited with my loved ones without delay. But what will be the number of those unfortunates who will never be reunited.
I haven't talked to Lirak for days. I heard his voice on the radio, as a spokesperson for the Llapi Area, and that's why I'm glad he's alive.
They inform me from America that Hajdar Mekaj and his son are in Peja prison. Thus we are informed from the outside what is happening around us. Circulation here is very limited.
However, Doctor Dauti is in Prizren and the news was not correct. It's better that it's not accurate. This was told to me by a Prizren resident, Nazmiu, who had come today to talk by phone with his people in Istanbul.
Saturday, June 5
In a cafe in Elezit Inn, "Evropa '93", owned by an Albanian living in Skopje and originally from Kosovo, the announced talks on the technical aspects of the withdrawal of the Serbian armed forces from Kosovo began three hours late. From the Serbian side, they are not first-rate military-police personalities, because they are now the protagonists of the Hague Court and of course they are shy. The meeting was postponed until tomorrow, because the Serbian side needed to consult with its superiors.
We spent the whole day at Nehati's, in the same mood as before. Only Bakhtishaja, Nehat's wife, who is very emotional, sometimes burst into tears. Now out of joy that this hell was ending. She already knew about Dardan, that he had come from Canada and that he was in Koshare, at the front. The two daughters had arrived in New York. Until a few years ago, it was a happy family, all together. Now point five, as they say.
In the building where I live, an apartment on the ground floor was set on fire today. Previously it had been broken by Spira's son, who lives in the same entrance. Before the beginning of the bombing, students lived there. Now who knows where they might be, if they are alive. Qaza found the index of one of them and took it to return to him, if he ever meets him.
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Sunday, June 6
These days my spirit and hope have returned. As if I have become braver, although everyone warns me: The animal is more dangerous when it is wounded! I want to visit Zaim Kurti, see the house, but Valdetja prevents me.
Talks between NATO and Yugoslav soldiers seem to have failed. However, I am optimistic. This is similar to that barsoleta about the chicken and the rooster, when the rooster chased the hen and she stopped and said: Let's make another circle, as if following me, so that the others don't think I'm a whore.
After many days I spoke with Lirak. He told me that he was now well, "placed in a German camp and with sufficient comfort". We always talked like this in code, so that you wouldn't find out that he was in KLA and I was in Pristina. Ilirja from Struga also called me.
In the afternoon the whole entrance was disturbed. Some people in uniform, of course Serbs, forcibly broke the door of Hysen Ibra's apartment. As if they don't see that they have to leave soon, they break into Albanian homes.
Monday, June 7
In the morning news, Dojçe Velle announced the failure of military talks on the withdrawal of Serbian forces from Kosovo. Ibrahim came in the morning worried and depressed. I was convinced that this was a Serbian maneuver, which we will soon forget. That's what I told him.
From the building behind the one where I live, several military and civilian trucks were loaded with officers' belongings. What we saw from the window was in favor of my belief that the Serbs will leave soon.
Tuesday, June 8
Every morning I go out to the balcony that overlooks where the soldiers are stationed - in the private houses of the Albanians and on the ground floors of the building across the street. I see if they left. I did the same today, but there were still no signs of rejoicing for sure. They were still there.
In the morning, Serbian radios announced that talks between NATO and Yugoslav soldiers had resumed since last night. As the G-8, there are only three issues left to harmonize, it is announced. The Yugoslav Foreign Minister has written to the President of the UN Assembly that the conditions have been created for the immediate approval of the resolution, after which the war in Kosovo, including the NATO bombings, would be stopped.
From the apartment opposite, where officers of the UJ lived for a long time, trucks continue to be loaded with their furniture and other belongings. Meanwhile, at the door, for the first time since the beginning of the bombing, Mrs. Kirxhic appeared. She was worried and scared. I tried to calm him down, that he had no reason to be afraid. Albanians do not kill women and children. I told him that they had taken a human attitude, and that they had nothing to fear. However, she told me the decision that they had decided to run away: her husband, Miomiri, her two sons and daughter. They would go to Montenegro, from where they had come forty years ago.
It follows in the next issue of the Supplement for culture excerpted from the chapter "Diary of the war: Hell before freedom" of the book "Journey to the Past" of Zenun Celajt, KOHA publications, October 2020
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