Strong women

The disgusting scenes in the Assembly this week offer us examples of weak women. I hope that the women of Kosovo will follow the models of strong Albanian women.

Mom had chosen to study. It was the sixties, and such a choice had been traumatic for some. Part of her wider circle had chosen not to talk to her. Not because she had committed any theft or fraud, had thrown water at someone, or had verbally abused someone, but because she had picked up a stack of books and decided to learn, to become a scientist. She became a university teacher. Those who did not speak to her remained where they had been. She continued her path with those who were accepting and supporting her. She did not quarrel with anyone. She just continued on her path. She was part of an exemplary generation of strong women.

I often hear the phrase "strong woman" lately, and I see the "strong" part defined differently in discussions. What was strong about my mother was her study and integrity, so that she would not submit to any prescription or social pressure that would violate her dignity.

Sixty years later, the strength of Albanian women has struck a powerful blow. Majlinda Kelmendi brought the first Olympic medal to Kosovo with work, dedication and sacrifice for years on the tatami. Blerta Basholli won Sundance with “Zgjoi” for a woman whose family and village condemned her for daring to work. While Ismail Kadare is still mentioned in narratives as a Writer, Lea Ypi has her book translated into thirty languages, Ledia Xhoga entered the competition for the Booker Prize and Doruntina Basha receives awards for dramaturgy and films with her scripts receive international awards. Justina Shiroka-Pula is the president of the Kosovo Academy of Sciences and Arts. Dua Lipa has brought Kosovo's name to stages where all foreign policy has never reached. Mira Murati was the head of the company that launched ChatGPT, physicist Laura Mersini explained the theory of the origin of the universe within the multiverse. Albanian science, art, culture and sports are being celebrated thanks to these women.

These define a strong woman for me: a person with great integrity and dignity who pushes forward against the odds and expectations, relying on knowledge, commitment, and selflessness.

This week, my phone showed me images of female MPs throwing water at each other, aiming for physical violence, and shouting with ugly faces (how ugly people are when they make malicious faces). Mainly after a man had said: “shit”. They were images that define uneducated and primitivism. Portals and cafes would be boiling with their judgments. If men were fighting, it wouldn’t be such big public news. However, this article is not about that. It is about the way a part of society sees politeness, like that part of the family and social circle that had chosen not to speak to my mother. That part of society thinks that being strong means beating, screaming, throwing water, and not giving up on your word even when you know you’ve screwed up. They are the typical definition of weak women. Because being uneducated is easy. The opposite - having integrity, knowledge, dignity - is terribly difficult.

Mom became a biologist. She had a curiosity about creatures without backbones. Throughout her century as a teacher, she taught students about jellyfish, mollusks, butterflies, and worms. Throughout her life, while studying invertebrates, she taught me what it means to have a backbone: integrity, dignity, and character. Bead by bead, book by book, sacrifice by sacrifice, along a path that begins with courage and ends for no one's pleasure.

In other words: Weak character has no gender.